Perspective
As teachers we are able to get a 7-8 week break between June and August. Some people wonder why we get the break while others understand why we get the break.
A lot of people ask how Joshua and I manage being around each other all the time especially since we teach at the same school. It's not easy but it's not hard either. We choose to make it easy or make it hard. Have there been arguments? Of course! Have there been times where we each feel like we need a break from the kids for "me" time? YES! Have we had to sit the kids down and talk to them about how to communicate better with each other? YES! Throughout the whole summer we have each learned that when we admit our mistakes and apologize we are able to better understand each other. There were many times that I felt like I failed as a mother, but talking through our reactions and how we need to better handle ourseleves has been the best conversations we have had with our children. Seeing the other person's perspective and communicating with each other better has been our lessons for the summer.
This summer was the first summer that all of us were under the same roof with an added person helping take care of Evey so that we could continue getting nursing services for the upcoming school year. It was weird at first. Having someone who is not family around us at our house everday was an adjustment. It felt like we could never sleep in and had to be put together by 645am. We finally got to the point where we slept in until 6:20, brushed our teeth and threw on some clothes before she got here. Four out of six of us ended up getting strep including the nurse. We had to postpone Ty's birthday celebration with family until July 4th, but we made the most of it and we all had fun!
We love Evey's nurse and she treats her like her own, but there were a lot of things she did differently than us and we had to choose how important it was to us if we said something or let it go. There were times that I would get upset by how she was doing things and I had to figure out the size of the problem. Was it a big one where I needed to speak up or was it a small one where I could let it go? A lot of times we had to chalk it up to: this is how her generation works and we won't be able to change her thinking. We had to let it go and see things from her perspective.
Most days we would take the big kids swimming while Evey received occupational and physical therapy. It helped Evey focus without being interupted by her very curious 4 year old brother. It also helped the nurse have some quiet time with Evey as well. She wasn't use to all of us being there at one time. She didn't realize how loud we are as a family!
I especially loved my time with the big kids because it felt in a sense I got back some of the summer that I didn't have with them the summer before. We missed Evey on some of our outings, but we made the most of our time with the three big kids. When we didn't have a nurse or on the weekend, we would take Evey on small adventures and at the end of the day we all would say that we were happy that Evey could join us!
Joshua stayed at home with the kids, while I worked with a student at school twice a week this summer. He basically never got a break from the kids and there were times he needed a break just to recharge. It was hard for me to understand that he needed a break because in my mind, I'm the mom and never get a break, but after hearing Ty repeatedly say, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, I understood WHY he needed to recharge. I was able to recharge on my way to school and on my way back without hearing; Mommy, Mommy, Mommy and he needed the same as well. We were able to work out a plan where both of us could get recharged and it helped the summer go by more smoothly.
Laney and the boys switched rooms early in the summer and we were able to finally go through all the toys and reorganize their rooms. Laney is loving her smaller bedroom and the boys are loving their bigger bedroom. Their bond is getting stronger everyday. We kept a few toys for Evey to enjoy when she gets older. It was crazy to see the amount of stuff Laney had that she no longer played with. We reminisced about each toy or craft that she found. We were able to give a lot of toys to the Family Room for foster kids to enjoy!
Being able to see Evey make progress this summer has also been a blessing. It's fun seeing her work hard in her OT and PT sessions learning new skills. She has gone from not being able to sit on her own at the beginning of the summer to being able to sit on her own, reach for toys and play with them. She even got her helmet off! Both the OT and PT have put in many hours to get her going with crawling, but Evey being a Miller and Goforth is wanting to do it on her own time. She knows the movements and will do them every time, but she still wants us or her therapist to help her do the movements for her. I know one day, something is going to motivate her and she will get up on her own and start crawling.
She has gotten two teeth this summer and wants to try all the foods! She is able to tell us if she prefers the food or not by saying "mmmmmm" or by shaking her head, screaming, spitting the food out or pursing her lips together. She has mastered the art of licking the spoon before putting it in her mouth! She has had everything from icecream sandwiches to empanadas. Her favorite so far is mexican dishes, especially the ones with rotel and cheese! The one thing that she spits out every time is watermelon. (I blame that on Joshua! What southerner doesn't like watermelon? HAHAHA.) Her drinking input varies from drinking 0mls to drinking 70mls at each feeding. We will be talking to her feeding team next week to see what criteria she needs to meet before we can begin weaning her from her gtube.
We went on a few adventures and tried out different restaurants near us. Some Evey was able to go with us and some we just went with the big kids. All 6 of us were able to travel to Virgina and South Carolina this summer. We were able to knock out two adventures on out bucket list: Appomattox Courthouse and Buccees. Five out of six of us did NOT enjoy Buccee's-- too many people in one place! Sensory overload! We should have listened to one of our teacher friends and gone in the middle of the night when no one was there. We will try it again when they finish building the one in Mebane.
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We were able to got to Mt. Airy a few different times to help clear out Joshua's Papa's shed. Evey was not able to come with us those days, but we would always show his Mimi new pictures and videos of Evey. The time spent with her was well spent and we know it lifted her spirits each time we went. She made us meatloaf, veggies and banana pudding the first time we came and it was delicious! The other times we went, we tried out O'Dell's sandwich shop and Coppallas and we never left Mt Airy without getting icecream from The Dairy Center. All three were amazing! IF you are ever up there, you can't go wrong with a hamburger, bologna sandwhich, chicken tenders, grilled chicken salad or a hotdog from Odell's or the supreme pizza from Coppallas! The hot fudge sundae with extra cherries from The Dairy Center does not skimp on the fudge or the cherries and it is made with softserve icecream! SO GOOD!
One of the first adventures was going to Char's and the candy shop in Lexington. Lexington is known for it's BBQ joints but I'm a fan of Char's. The kids get icecream for free with their meal and their meal deals are cheap! Evey loved eating the fries and the hamburger. The kids loved getting different gummies at the candy shop and using their own money to purchase it.
We tried out Reno's Pizza in Gibsonville and it is now our go to pizza joint. They make their dough fresh each day and they have a salad bar to go with your own personal pizza. Ty wanted mac and cheese and when it came out he started crying because it wasn't the Foodlion brand mac and cheese. It was the fancy mac and cheese with white cheese and parmesean on top. He ended up eating it and loving it after he took a few bites. I had the Reno's cheeseburger and it was HUGE and amazing-- it wasn't frozen and just put together- it was made with love from a proud chef!
Laney is our foodie and will tell us exactly what she thinks.I think Evey gets her taste of food from Laney and wants all the flavorful food! Pretty sure she and Laney will end up being food critics one day!
This is our ranking of the restaraunts we went to this summer:
1. Reno's- Gibsonville
2. The Dairy Center- Mt Airy
3. O'dells Sandwich shop- Mt. Airy
4. Yum Yums- Greensboro
5. Char's- Lexington
Yum Yum's was ranked higher than Char's because it's closer and you can get a hot dog, drink, chips and icecream all for around $8. They built in the tax with the price so what you see on the menu is what you pay, no having to figure out taxes. Each kid had their first visit there when they were around one years old and it has been fun to go back each summer to reminisce about our college days and tell the kids stories about how we met and what we did at school.
We have loved having this time together as a family and visiting his grandmother this summer. It has given us a better perspective of how we want our family to function and how we can be better parents and partners for each other.
We have lots of new adventures starting this coming school year. Laney will be heading to middle school, I will be transitioning from 17 years of teaching at the high school level to teaching at the middle and elementary school levels, Ty will be going to a childcare center for preschool and Evey will begin her adventure at an infant toddler program that focuses on children with disabilities with a new nurse. Lots of changes for us, but as the summer has taught us, we will embrace the changes, communicate with each other about how we feel and understand each other's perspective.
John 15: 16-17 says "You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. This is my command: Love each other."
We want to keep this as our perspective this year- Love each other. Bear fruit that will last. Jesus appointed us to be teachers to future leaders and parents to our four children. Times may get hard, but if we can keep our eyes on Jesus and what He has appointed for us, our perspective will be set towards His will for us and not our own. We will trust and put our hope more in Him instead of others or each other to get us through the hard times.
We are praying the transition for everyone will be smooth and the new nurse for Evey will love on her as her old nurse has for the past 8 months. We are praying that Evey begins to be more independent in her eating and movement. We can't wait to share more about Evey's progress over the new school year!
Be like a bee- hardworking, wise and delicate!
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